Life Was Not Meant To Be A Treadmill

Life Was Not Meant To Be A TreadmillSeptember 3rd, 2008
Do you live your life like it is a treadmill? No matter how much you walk or run, the track just circles around under you and comes up again?
Life was never meant to lived that way. The creator of the universe knew we would make mistakes. He knew we would have regrets. That is why we have Jesus, so we can clean the slate and begin again. You can not travel back in time to fix things. You can not rewind life and do it again differently. There is no way to go back, BUT you can go forward!
Stop running on that memory treadmill. Stop going over and over the past, trying to decide what you did wrong. Stop trying to relive the past. You can’t, you are not the same person you were then because you have learned and changed, and while you are wasting time, your present is being missed! Grab the here and now! Make NOW what you want it to be! NOW is yours! Fill each moment with the things you want to be your new memories!!
Step off that memory treadmill and walk right out the door! A big beautiful world is just waiting for you! Get your running shoes on, the adventure awaits! Hugs, Barbara

Smiled lately?

Smiled Lately?September 2nd, 2008
Have you? Did you smile today? I am amazed at the sour faces Isee when I am out and about. My little children will sometimes ask me why people are so mad. Mad? Humm, then I realized that they are not used to seeing sour faces at home. They are used to smiles. When they see people with-out a smile on their face they think they must be mad. What would my kids think about you?
Smiling can make a difference in a day. Did you know that? It is so true. Next time you go out, try it. Run your own little test. Smile at people. It is amazing, they smile back! Last week I was going into a store. An older man stepped back to let me pass. I thanked him for holding the door for me. “Oh, I had to hold the door for a young lady with such an amazing smile”, he said! Well, I am 45 but I’ll take it! LOL!!
Smile at home too. Your family will pick up the habit! If you want happy children, smile at them! If you want a happy spouse, smile at them! If you have forgotten how, go look in the mirror. Smile at yourself until you look happy! There is something about a smile that says more than words can. If you are saying I love you, I care about you, you are important- smile. It will mean more than words alone. Words can be empty and fake, but a loving happy smile never is. I am smiling at you, are you smiling back at me yet? Hugs, Barbara

It Is Never Too Late!

It Is Never Too Late!August 28th, 2008
Have you ever felt like it was too late for you to change your life? Do you think that too many things have happened, and your goals can not be reached? Maybe you have lost faith that your goals are even worth trying for. Have you ever asked yourself, “Who am I to think I can be a success at anything?”
I will tell you who you are. YOU are the child of a King! The King of the Universe thought you were worth leaving heaven, and dying for. He thought YOU were worth putting a plan in place that would bring him back from the dead, so your life could be wonderful. There is no doubt of your worth.
The only doubt is your faith. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 When you stop hoping for a better life, you lose the faith you need to carry you into your dreams. When you believe what you see, instead of what God has promised, you lose the ability to reach your goals. No one but you can stop God’s plan for you. No one. Not Satan, not your boss, not the people who think you will not meet your goals. You, and You alone can prevent you from being all that God wants you to be.
Stop looking at the world, and keep your eyes on God. Read your Bible, God tells us over and over that he has wonderful plans of joy for us. He wants us to be successful so that we are in a position to reach others with his message. Get your faith back. Get your faith in God back, and get your faith in yourself back. Then get busy! The world is waiting to see you shine! Hugs, Barbara

Being The Best

Being The BestAugust 25th, 2008
One thing I have learned through the years is that being the best is a good goal to have. Now sometimes we win a prize for being the best. We might get money or fame. That is ok, nothing wrong with money and fame! I would not mind a little of both myself! LOL! That is not what I am talking about though. What I am talking about is ever so much more important than money ever could be, and a million times more important than fame. I am talking about the goal of being the best YOU that you can be.
Does that strike you as funny? The Bible tells us it is not wise to compare ourselves amoung ourselves. I most of you would say you believe that scripture, but why? Why did God tell us that? Because he made each of us unique! Each of us has talents that make us special in the Kingdom of God. We may share some talents with others- there may be several people you know who all sing well for instance. Yet do they sound EXACTLY alike? No, no two people have the exact same talent. Also, we are not just one talent people. God gives each of us several talents that when working together make us more than the sum of our parts. No two people are given all of the same abilities. God spreads things around to be the maximum use in the world. He has a plan for your life that is not exactly like the plan he has for anyone else! You and you alone can completely fill the life work he has for you.
My family enjoyed watching the Olympics this month. We stayed up several late nights and cheered as the winners set record after record. It was amazing to watch those young people compete. Do you know what I noticed most though? They really were not competing with each other, as much as themselves. They were pushing to do their best, to reach their goals. You saw friendly conversations going on between teams. You saw hugs of congratulations to both the winner and those who did not win. We felt blessed to watch a swimmer step down from the start line and go ask a judge to allow another swimmer time to go change because her suit was torn. That swimmer was not from her country. They were competing against each other- or so it might seem. That torn suit would have put her at a disadvantage, it would have effected her time enough to make the difference between winning and losing. Yet here was the competition asking for a chance to make it a fair race. The judge allowed the swimsuit change and we watched the hugs exchanged before they both stepped onto their start lines. That is being your best. May we all reach for the best in us. May we reach to be the people God designed us to be. Hugs, Barbara

Loving God Is Not Enough

Loving God Is Not EnoughAugust 20th, 2008
Are you shocked? Well, that statement is true and I stand by it. A very important person in history felt the same way. He talked about and preached about it. He said we needed to do one other thing. The church leaders of his day were shocked too. So much so they wanted to kill him. He was the target of a huge plot, carried out perfectly. He was betrayed by his own man, someone very close to him. He was eventually capture, tried (with false witnesses), and killed. He never recanted. Till the end he did what he preached. His last words, breathed as he was dying held the same message.
What did he preach we needed to do besides love God? Love each other. What was his name? Jesus.
This is not a salvation issue. Jesus knew he, and he alone was the answer for our sin. No, this is a life issue. It is what we are here for. We are to be loving God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and loving each other. God’s plan for each of us is to reach out to others. The idea of sitting alone doing nothing but talking to God day and night is mans invention. God never tells us to spend our lives that way. There may be times we do pull out of the mainstream to commune with God, perhaps even fasting as we do. That is not to be our lives though. Those times are only to prepare us to get back out into the world and make a difference. They are short times, to regroup and hear God clearly. They are not our main job in this life.
Jesus gave us the pattern in his own life. Serve, love , care, heal, comfort, and protect. Think of the last words Jesus spoke while on that cross. This was it. This was the end of his time to preach on earth as one of us. Yet what did he do? Did he yell out a few more rules for us? Go read it. He made sure his mother was going to be cared for. He asked God to forgive us. In his last moments, in the pain of the cross, he was loving people. All people. The very people who planned and carried out his death. He was speaking for them. He was speaking for those who did not even realize they needed forgiven. He was speaking for us. Love for man was on his mind as he was dying. Jesus died as he lived, caring for mankind.
Let us mold our lives around the example Jesus gave. Let us be about the business of our father: loving people. Hugs, Barbara

Beautiful People

Beautiful PeopleAugust 19th, 2008
I have to say I am amazed at the beautiful people I have had the pleasure to meet in my life. I don’t mean their faces, though many , many of them have been beautiful too. I am speaking about the lovely hearts we meet as we go through life. Sweet people who make the day a little brighter.
I am also amazed, after getting to know them better, to find that many of those happy, sweet people are bearing heavy burdens. Often people are bearing burdens we know nothing about. They live their lives with beauty and grace despite the challenges they are facing. No matter what is going on in the background, what you see is inviting. The hardness of reality has not hardened their hearts. They remain open and loving to life.
What is it that makes some people still be able to smile? How do they remain open and soft? It is the outworking of faith in their lives. What does that kind of faith come from? It comes from a relationship with God. Not just a head knowledge, not a fancy degree in Bible studies, but a one to one relationship with Christ. It is a deep understanding of God’s pure love, because it has gone from being head knowledge to heart knowledge. No longer is religion important, it is God who takes center stage. They do not have to worry about jumping through hoops anymore, because they are ruled by an inner love of God, not the outer laws of men.
These are the people who reach out and touch your heart. They carry something that can not be contained. Christ is alive in them, so he is able to work through these dear souls. They carry a special brightness in their eyes. They have a lightness to their step. You feel you have been friends with them the moment you meet. The love they carry is Christs love, and it surrounds them like a gentle breeze. Each time you meet, you feel refreshed just having been near them.
I thank God for each of these special people I have been blessed to meet. They make the world a lovely place. Lots of bad in the world? I guess so, but I see more things that are wonderful, than that are bad. I see the hope of a world in the eyes and smiles of those who carry Jesus with them where-ever they go. Look around, I bet there are some beautiful people in your world to. Hugs, Barbara

What Is The Worst Thing That Can Happen?

What is The Worst Thing That Can happen?August 15th, 2008
I have been thinking about success and failure a lot lately. I have been reading and reading about people who were successful in meeting their goals. The thing that keeps standing out to me is that many of them really felt they did not have any particular talents. They did have a burning desire to succeed. They had a dream and they never lost sight of it. They never wavered. year after year they kept plugging away, eye fixed on the goal.
The reverse is true also. I have read of some amazingly talented people who never did a thing. They expected the world to beat a path to their door, and it did not. They wasted their talents. They were lazy and whinny. The slipped into nothingness.
it seems on the path to success it is more important to have umph than raw talent. Now that does not mean no talent. They worked, and worked hard to perfect what talents they did have. They used the little natural talent they had and worked very, very hard to gain more. They perfected their skills. They were always learning and searching for ways to become better. If the chance came along to learn something new- they took it.
Which person are we? Do we value what God has given us and work to turn it into all it can be? Or do we dig a hole and hide out talents in the ground, afraid to step out into the unknown? What is the worst thing that could happen if you reached for your dream? Failure? Humm, it depends on your definition of failure. If learning and growing is failure, maybe. I would not call it that though. I think that through that process you might find yourself lead in a different direction. Your goal may change as God shows you where he wants your gifts used. Is that failure? Not in my book! Hugs, Barbara

It Can't Be Done!

It Can’t Be Done!August 14th, 2008
I was watching the Olympics the other night. One of the men on the rings was able to pull himself from his body and legs sticking straight out behind into a handstand position without “bouncing”. By pure arm strength he tipped up slowly to a perfect upside-down T. it was amazing to watch, especially since the reporter said that before this man had done this move it was thought to be impossible. He said even two years ago the experts all said the human body could not do that.
Remember the movie The Right Stuff? It was thought we could not break the sound barrier, that it would kill a human to go that fast. It was said we would never make it to the moon, yet we have moon rocks to sit and study now. Amazing.
So what is impossible in your world? What do you think can not be done? What do you want to do that others say can not be done? Are you going to let that stop you? Those who say “never” are right about one thing- THEY will never do it. Of course as they are sitting there blah blahing about never- the guy who says it can be done will go right past them in a streak of glory!
I was told my marriage would “never” last. We had our 28th anniversary in June.
I was told I would “never” get my book in print. Wanna buy a copy? Polka-dot Star Flowers: Real Help for Real People came out this April! LOL!! “Never” tell ME “Never”!!
Can they tell you never??? Hugs, Barbara

Falling Flat On Your Face

Falling Flat On Your FaceAugust 13th, 2008
Do you know what the difference is between those who fall flat on their faces and those who never do? Those who fall flat where actually trying to do something! I have done a lot of reading about successful people. The thing that stands out to me over and over is that they all fell flat many times. The things they wanted seemed out of reach. They did not have what they needed to reach their goals- or so it seemed. They failed a lot. Sometimes they failed so many times they lost count!
So why did they end up successful? They kept getting back up! It is not the falling that makes a loser. Losers are the ones who never try in the first place, or give up at the first hint of failure. Winners fall and fall and fall, BUT they also get back up, get back up, get back up! They keep getting back up until they stay up!
Which way are you going to live your life? Are you going to miss it sitting on the sideline afraid to fall? Are you going to try, fall, and quit? Or are you going to keep getting back up, and keep moving toward the goal? Are you going to win because you refuse to fail?
Get stubborn! We often think of that as a bad trait. It is only a bad trait if you are heading for a wrong goal. It is actually the thing you need if you are sure your goal is the one God has placed before you. If it is, keep at it. Let nothing scare you off. Don’t let failure burst your bubble.
If what you are doing is failing, find another way around the mountain, but get to the other side. Go to the left, go to the right, go over, or go right through but get to the other side of that mountain. Still can’t get there? Then you need to have more faith!
Where did I get a crazy idea like that????
“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Matthew 17:20
Can’t get around, over or through that mountain? Then move the mountain!! Hugs, Barbara

Second Chances

Second ChancesAugust 11th, 2008
Have you ever failed in a relationship that you really wanted, or that you really did not mean to mess up? I don’t just mean your love life here, though it can be that kind of relationship. I am speaking of any relationship- spouses, parents, children, friends, co-workers, etc. I know I have. I have blown several relationships in my life that I really, truly thought I was acting in the best way possible. My heart was right. I was doing the best I knew to do, yet the end result was terrible. I hurt people I loved. I said things I didn’t mean, or maybe I did mean them but not like they came across.
So what do you do? First talk to God about it. Ask him to show you where you went wrong. Ask him to give you insight into what went wrong, and then listen to what he tells you. it can be hard to “hear’ but listen, you need to know. Then what? Say your sorry. Say it and mean it. Don’t try to defend your mistake, just say you are sorry.
Does it work? Most of the time it does. Most of the time the people you love really do love you back. We can be different in how we show that love, but it is there just the same. Most of the time you will find more forgiveness than you expected. Some times it does not work though. Sometimes the wounds are deep and have been allowed to fester. Those take time. The old saying that time heals all wounds is true in a way. In time God can heal those wounds and often he will open a closed door for you to try again. Keep praying and believing in the power of love. God tells us to be long suffering, and to believe all things. I have found that to be perfect advice- go figure?
In the mean time don’t sit and pout. Don’t keep flogging yourself over your mistakes. if you have talked it over with God, and set it straight with him, and asked for forgiveness from the person you hurt, move on. Even if there is no forgiveness from them. Move on. Punishing yourself serves no purpose. It changes nothing and makes you useless. We live in a hurting world. You do not have time to sit and be useless. God has other things for you to be doing. Ask him, and he will be able to use your open heart to help others. Maybe you can not fix the things of the past, but you can build a better future. Your life can be a ray of hope to another in this life. Allow yourself to live again. Allow God to live through you. Forgive yourself and reach out. Touch a life. Make a difference. Hugs, Barbara

Dirty Little Secrets.....Shuuu

Dirty Little Secrets…shuuuuAugust 8th, 2008
How many of you hold on to some secret part of your past? Something you are ashamed of, have even asked God to forgive you for but, you can not forgive yourself?
I see this a lot. I think it is one of the slickest tricks Satan uses on us. He wants us to stay locked in guilt and shame so we will not be powerful in God’s kingdom. He knows your soul is not his to toy with, but he hopes by playing mind games with you he can keep you out of the game.
Have you ever watched a sporting event where one side cheated? They knew they were not as talented as the other team. They had not worked as hard and were not as committed. What happens in a game like that? The losing team will often hurt the best players on purpose. They will kick a knee, or elbow someone in the face. They might get a penalty assigned to their side but they feel it is worth it. The best player is now out of the game. They win by taking out the strongest, the ones who could score the most points.
Satan is like that. He knows that it is the people with the best testimonies that have the ability reach the most people. The people who have been forgiven the most, love the deepest. They are powerful forces if they are unleashed! If you are burdened with the details of your past being constantly whispered in your ear, then Satan is trying to shut you up. He is afraid of you, and is using the only thing he has to keep you from spreading the Good News….your guilt.
Stop letting him use you. God has completely forgiven you. You are his child and he adores you. God has made you a new creature. You are not a patched up anything. You are new in Christ. When Satan tries to whisper your past in your ear, turn around and punch him in the nose. Tell him Barbara sent you. Hugs, Barbara

I Dare You!

I Dare You!August 7th, 2008
Remember when you were a child, how you would dare each other to do crazy things? Sometimes you were frightened out of your whits, but you did not want to back down from a dare, so off you went! Well, I am going to dare you today. Let’s see if you are a scaredy cat now that you are grown!
I dare you to dream again! I dare you to actually dream of something you really want in this life, and then to go out and make that dream come true. As a matter of fact I double dog dare you! So take that! LOL!!
You know, many of us had big dreams as kids and teenagers. We wanted to make a difference in the world. We wanted our lives to amount to something- and not just money goals either. We wanted to be special, important, needed. We wanted to be the one that made a change in things. Somewhere along the way many of us got side-tracked. Life got in the way. Little by little we lost sight of those goals. The business of surviving got in the way of really living. Some dreams we laid down and let the dust cover. Other dreams just sort of slipped away , with-out us even realizing they had gone.
I want you to dream again. Maybe you will want to dust off an old dream, or maybe you need to dream a new dream. Either way I challenge you to dream big. Don’t piddle. People who piddle around never change a thing- they just make a lot of noise. Instead think long and hard about your role in this life. What do you need to accomplish before your life story is finished?
I saw a quote the other day. There was no source but I really loved it. It said, ” What would you try if you knew you could not fail?” It got me thinking. The difference between those who make a dream into reality, and those who only dream is in that thought. The people who make dreams come true refuse to fail. Failure is not an option for them. They just keep trying until they find a way.
I dare you to dream, and keep on dreaming until your dream is reality. I double dog dare you! Hugs, Barbara

Giving Up

Giving UpAugust 6th, 2008
I get a lot of mail from people who are ready to give up. They feel they have waited long enough. Their marriage is not what it should be. Sometimes it is not bad even, but it is not what they thought it would be. Like a fruit tree that has no fruit, they feel their marriage is not worth working on any more.
I have fruit trees behind my house. We planted those tree 16 years ago. Now 16 years is a long time. Through the years we have not gotten but a tiny handful of fruit. For the first few years we tended those trees well, but still they did not grow fruit. After awhile we stopped tending them. We let the weeds grow and did not feed the trees anymore. They were still there, but we basically ignored them. Time slid by. No fruit, but who cares?
Then a couple of years ago several of the boys got interested in the trees. They cut down all the weeds, they feed the trees. We got lots of blossoms but frost hit them over the next several years and we still got no fruit.
I wish you were here. I would take you to my kitchen window and have you look at my trees. They are so full of fruit the limbs are shagging from the weight of it all. Beautiful peaches and apples hang on those trees. The fruit is bursting on them. It took 16 years, but we have a wonderful harvest.
I see marriages that way. Some do not bear much fruit the first few years. Problems come and weeds grow. Those weeds are not tended to. Even if some effort is made, it is not enough, frost hits- those unexpected problems. Many people cut down the tree in frustration. They are sick of waiting. They miss the harvest.
I am not saying there is never a dead tree. I suppose there are. I am saying that I think most of the trees not bearing fruit are really just untended. It takes a tree several years of growth to bear fruit. While waiting the farmer needs to still be tending to the tree. Sometimes things like frost do happen. The faithful farmer waits and looks forward to the next season- tending as he waits. He knows in time, With love and patience he will get a harvest. He believes.
If your are ready to call it quits, stop for a moment. Perhaps you need to clear out some weeds. Maybe you need to feed your marriage. A harvest may be right around the corner. A harvest you will be amazed at. Hugs, Barbara

What Is The Worst Thing You Have Ever Done?

What Is The Worst Thing You Have Ever Done?August 1st, 2008
Ok, I want you to think about it. Be honest with yourself. What is the worst thing you have ever done in your life? Don’t tell me, just think about it. Got it in your mind?
Now, What is the best thing you have ever done for someone ? Be honest, what is the very best thing you have ever done in your life? Got it in your mind?
Now, answer me this, which was harder for you to come up with? Most people can instantly think of the thing they have done that is the worst. They still feel the hurt and shame of it, but people often cannot even come up with the best thing they have done. Is it because they have never done anything good? No. I think it is because we tend to brood about the bad, and re-live the bad again and again in our minds. We beat ourselves up over the mistakes we have made. We do not forgive ourselves. We pass over the good, as if it does not count somehow.
That is a trick Satan would like to keep playing on you. He wants you to live in the past, in the hurt and shame of your human failures. God does not. When God looks at you he does not see the mistakes. He sees the joy of his child, the love of his heart. Do you doubt it?
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
God has removed those sins, so why do you want to hang on to them? Let them go, forever. Begin to make a new play list in your mind. Relive the chances God has given you to bless others. Replay the good times. Look for more sweet times to come. Let the past stay where God has it and look ahead to the blessings that await! Hugs, Barbara

My Sin Is Better Than Your Sin

My Sin Is Better Than Your SinJuly 31st, 2008
“My sin is better than your sin, my sin is better than yours, you should be punished but me forgiven, ‘cuz my sin is better than yours.”
Can you hear that in a sing song, you know, like ” My dad is bigger than your dad…”, or “My dog is better than your dog…”.
I think we have a lot of people who walk around singing that song in their head. They seem to think that the things they fail and stumble at are small, really just mistakes, while everyone else is “sinning”. I have lived my whole life knowing people like that. They will look down their nose at someone else and pass a harsh sentence, but feel they themselves should be forgiven when they fall.
Want to know what I think? I think we should forgive them too. I really do. Their passing judgement is not any worse than anything I have ever done, just different. I really believe it is all the same to God. It all breaks his father heart. He hurts when we hurt, and he is waiting at any moment to let us crawl back into his lap and make things right. Some sin has worse end results than others, we realize that in the natural realm. Killing someone has a worse consequence than stealing a pack of gum. In the spiritual realm it is all sin though. Both separate us from fellowship with God. Both break our fathers heart. More importantly though, Jesus died for both. He came to save every kind of sinner. So we are all the same, a people in need of a saviour.
The next time you are in a place to pass judgement, think of what God did. He loved us all. He gave up heaven for each of us. Be as fair and as kind as you can be. If it is in your power to do so, be there to give a hand to the sinner before you. Reach out and lift them up. One day it may you you needing that hand up.
I know I have needed the hand of mercy many times. God has always given it to me. Blessings to you as you walk out your faith in love and kindness. Hugs, Barbara
Tags: Forgiveness, Love, Sin

Chapter One FREE!

I have decided share with you the first chapter of my book. I hope it will be a blessing to you. Please forgive the odd spacing, it is not transferring well. Hugs, Barbara

Polka-Dot Star Flowers: Real Help for Real People
B a r b a r a S m i t h


Copyright © 2008 Barbara Smith
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 1-4196-9178-3
ISBN-13: 9781419691782

To my Mother for always believing in me
To my Husband for bringing out the very
best in me
To my son Colin for loving me even when I
have been wrong
And to all my Dear Friends who have held
my hand along the way
Thank you all,
Hugs, Barbara


Polka-dot Star Flowers
Real help for real people
CHAPTER ONE
Something is missing. I see it missing in the faces of people I pass on the street. I see
the world looking for it in the movies I watch and in the books I read. It seems most of
the world is looking for the missing piece of the puzzle. Everyone has an idea what it
looks like, yet few find it. It is in our midst, but for most people it is just out of reach. We
recognize it when we see it though. We long for it, and sometimes we even find it for a
time, yet somehow, for most of us it always slips away. You were looking for it when
you picked up this book. You were probably looking for it in the last several books you
read, but this time it is going to be different: because this time you are not going to be
given a to-do list. This time you are going to be given what you are seeking: joy!
I found it and it is deep inside of me. Nothing can take it from me. Nothing can
change it. It is like the air I breathe. It is always with me. I have found the pot of gold at
the end of the rainbow, and it is not money, it is joy. Moreover, it is a joy that cannot be
taken from you. I am going to share the secret of lasting joy with you. If your life seems
nothing but grey, come with me. Take my hand and step into a life filled with joy.
That joy is Jesus. He loves you. Jesus loves you so much, that he gave up heaven for
a time, and lived as a man. He, the creator of all, became part of the creation. He came to
live, to teach, to die, and to rise again. He came to bear our sins as only God can do, and
to free us from them. He came to give us life and that abundantly. With that life will
come joy.
I have a joy that can only come from God, because it is God. It is His spirit inside of
me. It has brought me through deep waters. I am planted in God’s love, and in His joy,
and I want to share that joy with you. God planned for you to have a joy-filled life. He
wrote a love story to us. It is a story filled with joy. Many people seem to miss that part
of the story. So I am here, writing to you this day to help you look deeply into the eyes
and heart of God. I want you to find the joy God is waiting to give you. It is His free gift.
It is a gift of love.
I am going to tell you my story in the next few pages. In the past, I have been
reluctant to reveal so much of myself. Then one day I realized that my story might bring
hope to another heart. There just might be another soul out there that had been wounded,
and needed healing. God was showing me that by keeping my past hurts tucked away, I
was robbing someone else of the chance to find a joy filled life. I think you need to hear
my story, so that you can see that the joy I have is not a natural one. It did not come from
an easy, trouble-free life. It came from Jesus. His heart touched mine. I hope that my
story can touch your heart briefly, so then Jesus can touch it forever. He can give each of
you what he has so freely given to me, joy.
I accepted Jesus as my Savior at the age of nine. I have never doubted the truth of that
commitment. God took hold of something deep inside me, and that has never wavered. I
feel Him with me every moment of my day.
I really do not remember a time without His heart with mine. I had a less than lovely
childhood. My parents had a lot of trouble- most of which I was blissfully unaware of
until they divorced when I was 11. I will not go into details, but it was an ugly divorce. I
suppose they all are. Both parents remarried, and both divorced again. Both married for a
third time. I lived with my mother and we moved to Iowa when I was 15. I had little
contact with my father. I met Tim (my now hubby) when I was a sophomore in high
school. He was a senior. We became fast friends. At the end of the school year, knowing
he was off to college soon I tried everything I could think of to get him to ask me out. I
finally asked him. That was it. We talked of “when we get married” from that night on.
We went along as typical teenagers do. I cannot see the use of going into detail here, but
you can fill in the pieces. We married when I was 17. Our first child was born 9 months
later.
Tim finished nursing school, and then I started. Life went on, as lives tend to do.
Three children, and several moves later I got meningitis. I almost died. My parents had
been called to come (they were several states away). God was merciful and I lived. I had
such severe headaches I could no longer work. I had always wanted to be a stay at home
mom, but the world convinced me that was no longer a choice currently. God used that
illness to bring me home. I never worked again, even after I finally recovered.
It was after this, I think due to the fear of how tied up in each other we were, and that
he had almost lost me, that my husband had an affair. When I found out, I cried out to
God. I had always felt God with me, but had never gone to church after my parents
divorce. I begged and pleaded. I groveled. I really did. We managed to save our marriage.
It was one of the hardest times in my life, or so I thought. Worse was coming.
We had baby #4 after that. We found a place in the country, and rebuilt our lives. We
began to go to church together. Life seemed sweet. My husband became a Christian and
two years later baby #5 was on his way. I got a call one night. It was a police officer. He
asked me where my 13-year-old daughter was. I told him in bed. He asked me to go to
the door. There stood a police officer with her on our doorstep. She had tried to run away.
I found out that night that she had become involved with a girl at school who was into
“Satan worship”. I will not go into the personal details, except to say we were worried
about her safety. We ended up sending her to a boarding school for a year. We did not
know what else to do. We felt we could not effectively limit contact with this girl by
ourselves, as this girls parents were not willing to help. They saw nothing wrong in their
daughter’s activities. We got advice from several different professionals and they
recommended we not have her in our home until she had gotten professional help
breaking away from her influence. We could find only one school that would accept her,
and it was several states away. It took a full half of our income to have her there. It was
so painful, and God taught me a lot. We had pulled our kids from school by then, and
began home schooling. Our daughter came home a full year later, a professing Christian
and life went on. We began to live a very different kind of life. We read the Bible a lot,
and tried to live out what we thought was there. We had made many mistakes, but at the
time, it seemed we were on the right path. Babies kept coming, and I felt so very blessed.
In 1999, I was expecting baby # 10. Two weeks from my due date, our house burned
to the ground. We were asleep inside when the fire started. God woke me, and we all
escaped unharmed. We lost everything.
Two weeks later another daughter was born by c-section. We rented a house and
planned to rebuild. A month later, my oldest daughter announced she was moving out.
She hated all of us, and wanted out. She moved out and got heavily involved with
everything we had tried to protect her from. She eventually moved in with a man older
than her father. I thought my heart might never recover. I had lost everything it seemed.
My home was gone. All of our things were gone. We had been blessed to get out of a
burning house with all of children alive, only to lose this daughter to the world. We had
no contact with her at all. It all seemed so hopeless. Yet little by little, joy began to shine
through. The light on the inside soon lit up the darkness on the outside. We did rebuild.
Life went on. I studied the Bible. I counted my blessings. A few years later that daughter
hit bottom. She called. Mr. wonderful was not so wonderful. She left him and pulled her
life together. She went to college and received her four-year degree in only three years.
She graduated with high honors despite the fact that she had completely supported
herself, working full time, while in school. Things were looking on track again. God
blessed us with two more children over the next few years and life again was sweet.
In 2002, I found my then almost 19-year-old son engaged in serious self-destructive
behavior. He had problems with smoking in the past and we had found a porn magazine
in our home once. It appears the extent of his problems were much more serious than we
had realized. I will not go into details, but this was much more than smoking or dirty
magazines. When discovered he fled our home. I spoke to my son a few times on the
phone in the weeks to follow. I begged him to get help. He assured me he was going to
“work it out”.
A year later, when our 13th child was born he asked if he and his girlfriend could
come out to see the baby. I agreed. While here, an argument arose. His girlfriend then
told us that she knew how awfully we had treated him, throwing him out for smoking. I
told her she did not know the whole story. My son perceived I might tell her, and
attempted to run me over with his truck. I got a very badly bruised arm, and one heck of a
backache, but was other wise unharmed. I am not sure how I was not killed. One moment
the truck was dragging me backwards, and the next I was on my feet a couple of yards
away. I think my poor angel must get tired. I did not know where that son was for years.
He and I were so close as he was growing up, it was wonderful, then to not even know if
he was alive for almost four years was unimaginable. God kept me close. It still hurt. I
still believed.
Life goes on. I have learned to trust in Christ alone as my happiness. Everything else
must be kept loosely in my hand. He alone can be my source of joy, because he alone is
unchanging. He alone is love. God has kept me, and loved me. I have poured myself into
being a wife and mother. I love my dear husband, who is a changed man. He is the lover
and partner all women dream of. It was not always so.
Then one day out of the blue, we got a call. It was from the child my husband had
fathered as a 16-year-old teenager. That child had been given up for adoption. I always
knew. She had found us. We have made her a part of our lives. She is flesh of my
husband, and we are one flesh. I could see no reason to constantly remind my dear
husband of his former mistakes. I accepted her as my own. She is a sweet spirit and we
love her and her husband dearly. She visits us, and we visit her.
We call her often, and she calls us often. She is treated in every way as the other
children are. They call her their sister- except our oldest daughter, who refuses to accept
her as a part of our family. Our oldest will not forgive us for making her a part of the
family. We had never told the children of this daughter. We did not know where she was,
and if we would ever have any contact with her. There did not seem to be any reason to
tell our children. At this time, my oldest daughter says she will never speak to me again.
It seems I have made so many mistakes with her. I never meant to. Each time we seem to
be over those mistakes, I make new ones. It hurts, and I lean on God.
Last year I joined an online weight loss group. I was too fat. I wanted to get this
weight off. I made myself at home on the boards, and enjoyed the friendship I found
there. As people got to know me, I started getting emails asking for advice. My marriage
is now a good, solid, happy one; they asked how I got that. My kids do so well in our
home school, and people began asking questions about that also. My day-to-day life is
filled with sunshine and joy. I have chosen to let God’s blessings make up for the pain of
this world. I look into His face each morning, and find the joy I need to carry on. The
pain of my past has been laid at the cross. I refused to pick it up again. I started
answering the emails. It seemed they just kept coming. I started two threads to make it
easier. I felt I was being allowed by God to share the love He had given me. The Bible
tells us that the older women should teach the younger how to love. I have tried to do
that. One of the threads has over 19,000 posts now. I have received over 600 private
emails, women asking for advice, or thanking me for my words. I felt God was using my
pain to help others heal.
I ended up with a ministry of sorts, just a ministry of love, of listening. Of pointing the
way to Jesus, who has been faithful to me all these years. Despite my mistakes. Despite
my pain. Love still wins. The sweet fellowship I get with Christ is worth it all. Nothing
this world has hit me with compares. I just wanted to share the peace and love I found in
the Bible with others. So there I was, teaching and loving and listening.
Then one Friday my dear second son, who I have such a sweet relationship with- the
son who has comforted me in many of my trials, the son who calls or emails me daily,
who asks me on dates so we can have some alone time, called and asked if he could meet
with me. At that meeting, he made the painful revelation that he had been living a lie for
years, feeling unable to talk to me about it… that he is gay.
Once again, my world shattered. I was on my knees. My husband looked like a
walking dead man. Grief had covered me like a wave. I looked again to Christ alone. He
held me tight. This place was so dark, but I could feel Christ holding me still. I still
believed, I still trusted. I did not doubt God. He sees more than I ever will.
My worst struggle was the women on my threads. I suppose that sounds so trivial. I
felt God placed me there to minister. I felt I was helping His kingdom in my own small
way. I wondered how many of those women would still want my advice if they knew all
of this? I never thought until then that my past mattered, because I thought I was past it. I
felt the problems with my older two kids were a direct result of things that happened
before my husband was saved. I decided to just tell them my whole story. All of it. I
posted a blog that contained a lot of what I have written here. I asked each of the women
to please read it that day.
I said I would drop off the threads unless they requested me to stay. I stayed off the
computer for two days. I could not bear to look. My mom, who was my partner on one of
the threads, called me. She wanted to know if I was reading the responses. I told her I
could not bear to look. She told me to get on there and read, so I did. I want to tell you
that I received email after email of loving support, page after page of women who loved
me, in spite of my past. Despite all the mistakes that had gone before. They reached out
in true Christian love to me. I think I received about 60 emails that first two days. I had
not even known that many women were reading my posts. Many of the ones who
responded had been reading along, but never posting. As I read their loving words to me
the tears began again, but they were cleansing tears. Tears like morning rain, refreshing
and renewing. I had exactly two women who responded in a negative fashion. They not
only felt I had no right to talk about God with my past, but warned the other women that
they would be punished if they had anything to do with me. They posted on the actual
thread, warning all who were there of God’s anger with them for loving me. 100% of the
other woman stayed anyway.
So I continued the work God had placed in my hands, I picked up the pieces of my
heart and placed them in the hands of Jesus. I prayed over my son. I searched the
scriptures for direction. I decided God was telling me that loving my son was all he was
asking me to do. If God had wanted to change my son’s heart, he was big enough to do it
without my help. I have tried to act as someone’s Holy Spirit in the past, and I am a
complete failure at it. I have made the decision to leave being God to God. He never
asked me to try to do his job. He asked me to love his children.
My son is one of them, and I love him dearly. Our relationship is still as strong and
sweet as it was before I knew he was gay. He is still the same man he was; only now
there are no hidden secrets between us. I made the decision to let love win, and it has. I
cannot say I understand what the future will bring for my son, but I can trust him to
God’s care. God is faithful and I know he will guide my son just as he guides us all, with
love and grace.
My past is not always been a beautiful one. I made many, many mistakes. I now
realize that all those mistakes are part of who I am. I cannot fix my past. I cannot change
one moment, one mistake. I can say I am sorry, and I have, many times. I must live with
the results of my choices; I cannot go back and chose better. I can only go on from where
I am with an open heart. I can only trust God to keep me. I have trusted God to heal my
heart, and He has. I still believe every word in the Bible. I still believe God loves me. I
still believe he has a purpose for all he has allowed to happen to me. I feel he wants me to
share my life, so that others may be healed. Like Job of old, I will trust Him. Though he
slay me, yet will I trust him.
I have prayed long and hard over this book. The only thing I can say is that God seems
fit to use me, broken and flawed as I am. I do not understand that. I am the last one I
would pick to share God’s message. I thought I would rather crawl into a hole than tell all
of this. Yet God has whispered to my heart. I cannot hide. Maybe someone else is in need
of His love. My message is not about me. It is not about my success or failure in this life.
It is about love. It is about joy. It is about redemption. It is about a love and joy only
Christ can give us.
If you are in a place in your life where joy seems lost, if you feel your past will hold
you back from a future of happiness and love, I am reaching out to you. The darkness in
your life is about to lift. Take my hand. Trust me, you are about to walk into the light of
God’s love. Step with me into joy! Hugs, Barbara

Might As Well Be Hung For A Sheep As A Lamb!

Barbara’s Blog
Daily thoughts of joy
Might As Well Be Hung For A Sheep As A LambJuly 28th, 2008
Have you ever heard that old saying? The saying is that you might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb. It is saying that if you are going to be hung for stealing, steal something big. Hanging is hanging after all. You are not any more dead if you are hung for a lamb- a small thing to steal, than if you had stolen a sheep- a bigger thing to steal. Hung is hung.
I like that saying. No, I don’t think you should steal sheep! I don’t think you should steal anything, big or little, and I sure don’t want to be hung! But I don’t think they were REALLY talking about stealing sheep with that saying. I think the idea is you might as well go big while you are at whatever you are doing. I like that idea. I think we often fail at our goals because we think too small. We are so afraid of messing up that we aim small. In our mind it is somehow less of a failure if we fail at something small. Is it? Failure is failure after all, just like hanging is hanging no matter the size of the sheep.
I think instead of aiming at the small things, thinking we will fail, let’s aim for the big goal thinking we will attain it! Let’s go after the sheep! LOL!! If we only ever try for the small things in life, our lives will be small. Our victories will even be small, because we aimed so low. We will never hit the bulls eye of our dreams. Have you ever watched someone aim a gun at the target? He does not look at the bottom of the target with his head hanging down. His chin is up and his eye is on the prize!
Let’s live our lives that way. Head up, eye on the prize! I wanted to write a book. I was told that was too hard to do and it was just too hard to sell books these days. Only a few authors ever make it big, so why waste your time? Well, because I think I am one of the ones who can do it! I think my book has real value, because it was written to help people! How can helping people live lives of joy and success be a waste? Will it make me a million dollars? Who cares?! I didn’t write the book to make a million dollars! I wrote the book because I know lives can be changed. I know for a fact that no matter what your life has held so far, it can become wonderful! Now that is a reason to write!
So, I have a book on Amazon.com! My book Polka-dot Star Flowers: Real Help For Real People did get published! It is selling! And you know what? I am getting emails by the dozens from people thanking me for changing their lives! Regular people who thought their life was worthless, now see how very important they are. They are important to God, and they are important to other people! Is that a waste? No way! Am I glad I wrote the book? Yes! Do I want you to buy it? Sure I do, because I know you too have goals you are missing. Almost everyone I meet tells me something in their lives holds them back from meeting their goals. I can help, because I believe in the power of love and joy. I believe we can all be the best at what God designed us to be!
So, are you going to go after the lamb or the sheep? Don’t steal it! Meet your life goals! Then instead of a tiny lamb or even a big fat sheep, you can buy the whole ranch! Go on, get busy! Hugs, Barbara

What Do You See?

What Do You See?July 24th, 2008
I have learned an interesting thing in my life. Many things are good or bad depending on who is doing the looking. I am not talking about sin. I realize there are some who want to debate what is sin and what is not, but really that is just words. Even a person who has had no contact with the Bible has deep in them the ability to know right from wrong at its most basic level. This post is not about sin.
I am speaking of something different here. I am speaking of life experiences. Is your glass half empty or half full? At noon is the day half over, or only half over? Is that rain a welcome friend or the end to your plans? When your life moves on to the next phase is the end or the beginning?
I have found the answer depends on where your heart is. You have a choice in this life. You cannot always control what falls in your lap, but you, and you alone, get to decide how to look at it. You can look for the good, or you can wallow in the bad. It really is your choice. Some people seem to have a natural bent to see the good. I feel everyone can learn that trait though.
The Bible tells us we are to be looking forward to the prize. I think forward here has a double meaning. It means both happy anticipation and to actually be looking beyond where we are, to where we are headed! We are to be expecting the good at the end. No matter how hard the race you are running, look for the prize at the end! Each step is not to be fought,but welcomed. Each step, no matter how hard or slow, is moving you forward to the prize.
We have all heard , “When life hands you lemons make lemonaid”. It is a cute saying, but it is also the way happy people live life. They don’t sit and cry over the sour parts of life. They add sweetness to it and make something wonderful out of it.
”But my situation is different”, you say. Maybe. Maybe not. Life has some dark sides. Horrible things do happen, and no amount of sugar can sweeten them. What about those things? You may have things in your life that are too tragic to make sweet, but you can still make something worthy from them. I want you to think about John Walsh. Most of you will know him from the TV show America’s Most Wanted. John’s young son was kidnapped and killed. It was evil in it’s purest form. Yet John has used the pain of that to help others. He took that experience and found the only good to be found- that he could help others. He made it his lifes work to solve crimes, to put the criminals behind bars, so they could not hurt anyone else. John found the good. He made the bad into good for others.
Did it bring his son back? No. But Johns work brings honor to his son’s memory. If you have faced tragity, look for the good. You may be able to help someone else who is facing what you faced. You might find that God can use your life to ease the lives of others. Look for the good. Make your life count in the lives of others. Make a difference.
What if your troubles are the size of lemons? Squeeze them. Add some sugar and find a thirsty soul to share lemonaid with! Hugs, Barbara

Bringing my blogs home. Well, at least some of them...

Barbara’s Blog
Daily thoughts of joy


Are You Happy?July 22nd, 2008
Did you say yes or no? Your answer will tell you what you need to do next!
I have learned a few things about happiness. It really has very little to do with the things we have, or what we are doing. It really is not based on anything outside of ourselves. It is an internal state. No one can make you happy, and no one can take away your happiness. Oh, they might sway things one way or another for a time, but the real, deep down joy can not be moved.
It is like the stars. You may not see them at times, but they are still there. They did not leave, they are shining even when we can not actively see them. Even after the death of a star- the light shines on for years.
Our lives can be like that. The joy we have can carry on no matter what is happening in the atmosphere. We might be covered for a time, but the light will shine through by the end of the day.
If you do not have that kind of happiness, you can get it. You can not buy it, or make it, or even steal it. But you can get it. All you must do is ask. God is waiting to give it to you. He only asks that you do one thing in return. Pass it on. Loving God will give you that deep, strong root of joy. It will spring up in you and grow and bear fruit. God only asks that you pass the fruit of your joy on to others. Love deeply, fully. Laugh long and hard. Find the happiness and then give it away. It is just that simple.
Have you ever seen a child make a full day of games out of an empty box? They can laugh and play and romp all day. The box is nothing special. it is not really magic. The magic in the play of a child comes from the inside. They are not afraid of being silly, they do not worry about what others are thinking or doing. They take what they have and enjoy it. Do you?
If you named all the things you DO have, would the list be longer than what you think you don’t have? Look around you and be honest. Are there people in the world who would think they had died and gone to heaven to live a life like yours?
Now, look inside of yourself. What is there? Deep joy comes from inside, so what is there? Have others hurt you? Do you allow that to keep you dead inside? Don’t. By allowing the actions of another rule you, you are still giving them power over you. You are GIVING it to them. Stop letting others have YOU. Take back your life.
From this day forward YOU decide your path. No one can make you walk a life of sorrow and pain. Have a long talk with God. He understands. He cares. He does not want to see you live a life of emptiness. The Bible says he came that we might have joy, and that abundantly!! Then let go of the things that hurt you. lay them down at the feet of Jesus and refuse to pick them back up. When you feel yourself reaching for those boxes of hurt, stop. Tell yourself, “NO, that is over. It will not control me one more moment.” Take a deep breath, relax your shoulders. Then step out in joy! Hugs, Barbara
PS-if you answered Yes! to that first question, then go find someone who did not, and hug them. Help them find the joy you have. Pass it on!
Tags: Future, Joy, Peace


The Exit RampJuly 21st, 2008
I am in the business of helping people find joy in their lives. One thing I see a lot, is people who know they are on the wrong road, but they refuse to take an exit ramp. They just travel on and on, getting more and more lost, or they back-up and go up and down the same road over and over. You can not get to a new place traveling on the same road.
If you are on the road to nowhere, get off! Take an exit and get on a new road. The fact you are traveling down a wrong road does not mean you have to stay there! You can exit! You can stop and ask for directions!
Some people are afraid to take that exit. It is an unknown road. Well, if the road you are on is leading you nowhere, what do you have to lose exactly? Take the exit. If you find that exit did not take you where you want to be, take another! There is a road leading to where you want to go! Be willing to find it! Finding the right road can be an adventure in itself! You may just find that a new road gives you a new vision. The horizon might look different for you. Where there was once darkness, there will be light. Where there was once loneliness, there is friendship, maybe even love. You might find the new road has fewer pot-holes and better road signs.
Stop wasting your time and energy going on a road that leads to pain and failure every time. Take that exit. Every road has a way on and a way off. You do not have to stay on the road you are on. I don’t care how you got on that road, you can get off. You can decide to go a new direction.
Our lives are like that road. We can keep blindly going in a direction we know is wrong or we can choose a better way. At any moment you can take control of your life and begin again. It is never too late. I see an exit right ahead. Are you willing to see what wonders are around the corner? A new road awaits! Hugs, Barbara



Stopped By Fear.July 17th, 2008
I went to the dentist today. I HATE DENTAL WORK. Now don’t get me wrong. I have a wonderful dentist, who I like very much. He is really good, we are friends. I trust him, yet I HATE DENTAL WORK!! I had an old badly done crown that needed replaced (done by a different dentist). He has been trying to get me to replace it for a couple of years. I keep saying I will. I knew I should. The old one was ugly to begin with. It hurt frequently. It kept my gum sore a lot. It trapped food and I had to floss every time I ate anything. There was no reason to keep that old crown. Yet I did.
I was more afraid of the dental work hurting, than the pain of that old crown. I was kind of used to that pain, in a wierd way. The thought of having that crown removed made my skin crawl. I just knew it was going to be an awful ordeal. So I kept putting it off. I had good excuses. I was too busy. It was going to cost too much….blah…blah…blah. The real truth was the fear.
So today I did it. I was scared to death when he started. I did not feel the shot. I could feel the cutting and tugging, but it did not hurt. It really didn’t. My gum is sore and tender, but not anything a couple of advil can’t take care of. I have a nice new temporary crown in place. It looks nicer than the old one! I can’t wait to see the real one in place in a few weeks. All the troubles the old crown gave me will be gone. This one will really fit. It will feel good. It will look nice. Everything about it will be better. Why did I wait so long???
What is your crown right now? What thing are you not doing because of fear? What thing would actually be better for you, but fear stops you from doing it? Sometimes, like my crown, we fear pain, but I think for most of us, we more often fear failure. It is easier to sit tight, even if we are getting no benefit, than to risk failure. We hurt where we are, rather than risk a new hurt.
I should have gotten this done years ago. Now that I am on the other side of it, I can say that with ease. This morning I was living in fear of it. Now I am enjoying this side of the mountain!! Which side of the mountain are you on? What is holding you back? Your life is meant to be special. It is meant to be lived in joyous wonder.
I finally trusted my dentist and let him do the work that needed done on me. Do you need to trust God today to do a work on you? As much as I like my dentist, there is no comparison to God! God can be trusted with everything. Listen to him. If God is telling you to get over the mountains in your life- go! Don’t waste another moment!!
You might end up with a new crown on the other side! LOL!! Go on, shoo, get moving! Hugs, Barbara

Tags: Faith, Trust


Your Future’s So Bright, Ya Gotta Wear Shades!July 16th, 2008
Do you doubt it? I don’t! You have a wonderful life story to write! Good things are waiting right around the corner! Want proof??
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
There you have it! You have a bright future waiting for you! Know when the future begins? Now!! So le’t get moving. If you are bogged down by thinking of your past, take my hand and we will walk together for awhile. Distance from a problem often lets us see clearer. You have heard the saying, ” Can’t see the forest for the trees”. We can really be like that. We can be so close to a problem we can not see the way out. If you are in a deep forest and can not see out, no matter which way you look I have a solution. CLIMB. Find the highest tree and climb to the top. From there you can often see which way to go to get out of the trees!
Remember yesterdays mountain climber? Going up is the way, not back! So if your life is full of problems, pick the biggest one and climb it. Tackle that one. Once you are at the top of it, you will get a new view of all the rest- they are smaller! If you have several big problems make a list. Really . Write them down. Now can you see which one is biggest? if you can, climb it! Get to the top and see what needs done. Then do it! If you have written them down and they all seem huge and you can’t decide which to start on- then pick the first one you wrote down. Since it was first in your mind, it gets first attention! Climb it.
Like I said yesterday. Get yourself in order, and start. Do what it takes to get that one problem solved. let the others wait. Fix #1. Once it is gone, take a new look at your list. You may find getting rid of #1 took care of several others too!
Write down the verse at the top. Post it where you can see it several times a day. Believe it was spoken for you. You will prosper! You do have a bright future! Don’t wait, step today. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your shades- your gonna need ‘em!! Hugs, Barbara
Tags: Faith, Future, Hope


Making Your Life Count!July 15th, 2008
I see it daily. People who just plod along. They are bored, sad, angry, depressed, falling out of love, failing at their job, and down right miserable. They ask my advice. So here it is, for free:
STOP IT!!!!!!
That’s right, stop that! Stop plodding along. Stop being bored, sad, angry, depressed, falling out of love, failing at your job. and being miserable! If you are in one of those groups stop reading, go wash your face, brush your hair, get dressed and THEN come back here. I will wait……..ladeedaa…ladeedaa… hummmm….hummm…..
Ok, You awake? Clean? Now. Listen up. You are too wonderful and important to waste one more moment of your life. I mean it. Do you know how many people have ever been born on this planet? A LOT! Guess what? Not one has been, or ever will be, exactly like you. You were designed by God for this day and this time and you are important!
Your life has meaning because God made you. he put in you the exact things you need- and what the world needs from you. You have rich talents locked up inside of you. In every fiber of your being is purpose! You just need to find it. You need to realize it is there, and believe that it is there for a reason. Your life was meant to be a blessing for someone. Did you realize that? You were not placed here as some sort of endurance test.
You were placed here to do something. Inside your mind and heart is a purpose. There is. You may have denied it. You may have lost sight of it, but it is still there. The exact talent the world needs from you is in you. Stop looking at your past. Stop looking at your present even. Look in your heart. Somewhere inside of you is a longing. You may have been trying to silence it for years- or you have allowed those around you to silence it- but it is still there. Let your heart speak to you again. Let the words God molded into you when you were formed come alive. Begin to listen again with an open heart and mind. Then MOVE.
Don’t let one more day come between you and your potential. Begin. You may have a dream that will take work and years to see come true. So get started! You have wasted enough time. Don’t tell me you can’t. The truth is you won’t. You can. It is in you. Don’t give me your list of why you can’t realize your dreams. Instead give me the list of the things you are willing to do to reach that goal!
When a person climbs a mountain they don’t stand at the base and wish they were at the peak. That will never get you to the top. They don’t stand and tell you all the reasons that mountain can not be climbed. Again that does not get you to the peak. When a person REALLY wants to climb a mountain they gather materials- ropes, hooks, partners, supplies. Then they train. They get their minds and bodies ready. Then they CLIMB!! They take a flag with them to place on the top- because they do not doubt they will get there.
Where is your flag? Find it! You are going to need it! Because today is the day you begin! Hugs, Barbara
Tags: Dreams, Goals, Hope


Yesterday is Not Tomorrow!!July 14th, 2008
Of all the things I teach people, this is one of the most important- don’t miss this fact: Yesterday IS NOT tomorrow! It really is not! What-ever happened back in your yesterdays does not determine your future. You do!
We all have a past. It has molded us into who we are right now. That is true enough, but we are not done changing yet. If you are alive, you are still growing! Your future begins right where you are at any moment, because at any moment you can change course! You can decide on a new direction!
I talk to many people who let their mistakes and hurts keep them stuck. They never move away from that place of pain and guilt. Why? Because they are looking in the wrong direction. Turn around right now. Look at here and now. Today is a blank page waiting to be filled. Life is a lot like a book. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. When you read a book do you read the first chapter and place it on the shelf- finished? Of course not! You keep reading! There may be twists and turns to the story that you never dreamed of while reading that first chapter! The end can suprise you! Was the end happy? Unexpected? Thrilling? The author gets to decide.
Your life is like a book. You have only lived the first few chapters. The rest is yet to come. Want to know the best part? YOU are the author! You get to fill in the days as you choose. Like the characters in a story, there may be unexpected twists in the plot, but the author decides how the characters will react and meet those challanges. You are the author of your reactions to life!
The wonder of life is in the living! It is in the fact we can keep learning and growing and loving and changing and can do it all with JOY! Nothing in your past can keep you from joy, if you will take control of your life. God loves us. He knew we would make mistakes, stumble and fall. That is why we were given Jesus, and that is why we were given each other. Jesus has paid the price for any mistake we have made- or will make, so we are free to go forward in peace and joy. We have people to love and hold our hands as we walk out this beautiful mystery of life.
This is your life. Make each moment count. Make each day a lovely addition to the library of life. May God bless you as you write the story of your life, day by day. Hugs, Barbara
Tags: Freedom, Joy


It is OK to be Human.July 9th, 2008
Really it is. We make mistakes. We say stupid things. We tell ourselves we won’t but we do. Know what? It is OK. We are not robots, that is what makes us so wonderful. We think, we feel, we love, we worry, we cry, we laugh, and it is all good. All those things make us wonderful. We are creative and magical and flawed! Yippee!! We are real!!
So, if you have really messed up till now, so what? Start again! The day is new. Start again! Wash your face, brush your hair, put on clean clothes and get back to being human. We are all in this together. We all mess up. We all fall flat on our faces. Get back up! I have fallen flat many times. i have fallen flat while trying to get up in fact! So what? I am human. I just keep at it, and you know what? Life is good!
It is not our perfection that makes us grand. It is our ability to begin again. It makes us who we are, and what we are. No matter where you are in life, there is happiness to come! No matter what you see in front of you, there is joy waiting. get back up. Take a step. Forgive yourself your mistakes and go make a future!!
We can not live in the past. It is not alive there. The past is only shadows and memories. We can not live in the future. It is not here yet. We have here and now. Embrace it. Make each day what you want it to be, because each day is really all we have. Make each day beautiful. Make each day bold! You are amazing and there is untold wonder locked in you! Share that wonder with the world. Stop looking back, look at now, and live it! Hugs, Barbara



Real Freedom On The 4th of July!July 4th, 2008
Happy 4th of July! What blessings God has given us in our dear country. We are free to vote, school our children how we choose, read what we want, travel, and live the lives we choose. No one tells us where we must live, or what we must do for a living. We can choose our own church, doctor, and laws!! I love America!!
Jesus gave us the ultimate freedom. He freed us from death from sin, and he also freed us from living under the Law of the Old testament. We have two laws left: to love God and to love each other. If we follow those two, nothing else is needed.
Some people would like to bring us back under the old laws. They want to tell us how to dress, how to worship, what songs we can sing, what movies we can view, and they want to draw lines of who it is suitable to love. God has not given anyone the authority to make those kinds of laws. Again we have two laws: To love God and to love each other.
This day as you celebrate this lovely country, remember those who died so you may live free. Jesus died so we can be truly free. Our brave servicemen have died so we can live out that freedom here in America. Remember that sacrifice this day.
This year is an election year. You live in a country that gives you the chance to vote. Do not waste that, or take it lightly. When you vote, please remember what this country is about. Many have died to give you the chance to live free. Make sure your vote allows that freedom to stand. Look long and hard at the people you vote for. You are giving them your voice. Vote not just for your personal choices but for freedom for everyone who lives here. Your personal preferances should not be law. Our laws are to protect each other from harm, and to ensure our basic freedom. Before you vote to stop any particular group from having the freedom to live as they choose- not hurting anyone- think long and hard. Who do you want telling you how to live your day to day life? Be sure you are following God’s law to love your neighbor as you vote.
Enjoy the day! May the fireworks in the sky match the brightness of your heart. Blessing to everyone this beautiful day! Hugs, Barbara



$300 catJuly 3rd, 2008
Ok, So I have a son in college right now, he is a going into his JR year this fall. He lives alone in an apartment. He works full time to put himself through school. The kid is lonely. He comes from a house full of kids, and now he is alone in that apartment. He wants a cat.
Now that seems to make sense. A cat can be alone while he is in school, and would not need to be walked. He could hold a cat while he does his work all evening. It would give him something live to look forward to seeing when he gets home each day. He wants a cat.
Of course there is the little problem of money. He is supporting himself and paying for his own schooling. You can get a free cat. I have done this in the past. That free cat will cost $100 to get it fixed, and all it’s shots. The apartment owners want $150 deposit for a pet. So we are up to $250 for that free cat. Then there is the litter box, litter, food, and the cute cat toys it will need so it will be a happy cat while he is gone. Yep, we are up to $300 ( at least) for that free cat. He wants a cat.
Being the dumb mom I am, I started “browsing” for cats. I figure it will take awhile to find one that matches what he wants. He does not want any old cat, but a black and gray stripped one. Female. Young- so he can raise her, but not a tiny kitten who would be too lonely while he is gone to school. I figure it might take awhile. He wants a cat.
So the first place i look is the Animal Rescue online. Might as well save a cats life, right? And there she is. The perfect kitten-cat. Black and gray, female, even has a cute name. The only problem is the $300 bucks it is going to end up costing us. He sure doesn’t have it. We sure don’t either. I would need to sell a lot of books, FAST, to get that darling little kitty. He wants a cat.
Anyone wanna buy a book to save a college student and his would-be cat?? He wants a cat.
Hugs, Barbara
Author of Polka-dot Star Flowers: Real Help for Real People.
Tags: Books, Cats, Love


Shut-up will ya??July 2nd, 2008
Ok, I know that is not a title you might expect from me, but really, it caught your eye didn’t it??
The funny thing is I meant it! I have several message boards I chat on. I have noticed a trend lately. A person having a rough time of it will post asking for help or support. They lay their hearts open, asking for some loving words. What they get is a long, drawn out, rude reply telling them how their problems are their own fault. I have seen some of the meanest things said to these poor souls who were asking for help. (Not money- just sympathy- support- a loving word of understanding) The responders seem to think everytime they open their mouths ( or in this case their keyboard) they should give a sermon on the wages of sin, or tell some poor person how stupid they are for making a mistake.
Where did we get that idea? I would like someone to point out to me where it says to kick people when they are down. I have read the Bible through many times, yet seem to have missed that. The sad thing is these hateful people often do it in the name of “Christianity”. Nothing about that is Christian in the least. We are told over and over to love each other. Jesus loved, and loved, and loved. His example was pure love.
There is a time for teaching, but when someone is crying out in pain is not that time. And teaching should always be done in love anyway- not in hateful condemnation. Let’s start really being Christains again, and love each other. Let’s love like Jesus did. Fully, completely, with-out thought of ourselves.
The next time someone reaches out for a hand up, grab their hand and pull! Don’t stand and give them a lecture about the dangers of drowning. Get hold and help them to dry land! Hugs, Barbara
Tags: Christianity, Kindness, Love

Birthdays birthdays, birthdays!

This month we have 5 birthdays! You would think with this many kids we would have a birthday every month but we don't. Ours are very grouped together. March is our biggest month. Our oldest turned 29. The next one down 27. The twins were 11 this month and we have one more who will be 9 in another week. Thank goodness they all don't want the same type of cake!!It really makes you stop and think though- how really fast the time goes. I can remember all those "firsts" and they are so very long ago now. All the things I used to worry about are long gone. We had a lot of trouble in the beginning with the twin pregnancy. I get so very sick each time, but that was the worst. I ended up in the hospital with them for eight days. I ended up taking meds to keep the vomiting slowed down- it never did stop- for the whole pregnancy. We had to wonder if it would affect them. Then we got blood test that showed downs with them. Our doc did not even bother to tell us until the next visit- a month later, since he knew we would not terminate a pregnancy. All was fine though in reality and they had no problems. Now they are these big tall kids.And how the heck do I have kids 29 and 27?? I don't feel old enough for that! Life just keeps flowing past. I have not minded the kids growing up, it just seems it could take a little longer. Those baby days were so sweet and I am glad I took the time to enjoy them, because once they are gone they are gone. You can not go back and do them over. My house was often not perfect- aw heck, it was-is never perfect, but I have sweet memories that have lasted.The older kids, who are out on their own, do not care if the house was perfect or not. They call a lot though because over the years we really got to know each other. We are friends. I did not manage that well with my 27 year old. We went through some deep waters with her, and it shows. I learned my lesson though- the hard way, and I see such a difference in the other kids.If you wonder how anyone can have 14 kids, I will tell you the secret. PLAY. LAUGH. RELAX. If you are a normal human you will not mess them up too much, so you might as well enjoy them!! Stop worrying about the little stuff- it will mean nothing in 20 years. They will not remember the 2 year old birthday party but they will remember long walks, and fishing, and movie nights with popcorn. Enjoy your life. You only get one shot at it. Make it a good one. Hugs, Barbara