Keep a watchful eye mama!

June 10th, 2009
I wrote the following in response to a question froma a lady who was having problems with a neighbor. Their children had been playing together and there was some “going potty” outside in front of each other. Each child was blaming the other and there was some discussion of this being “forced” on some of the kids. All the children were young.( 5-7 I think) The parents were not speaking and the kids were not playing together any more at the moment:
(((Hugs))) Things like this are awful for everyone involved. I have two thoughts. As the mother of many, several of whom are grown, I can tell you it could be worse. Kids that age are curious AND stupid! They will do really dumb, dumb things and I can assure you they will NEVER admit it. Your kids know it would break your heart if they admitted anything. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle of what each side is telling. (after all, your kids did not run home and tell when it was happening- at the very least they stayed and watched)
So my first advice is to go to your neighbors and tell them you are sorry anything happened with the kids. You don’t have to take blame to be sorry. If they want you to, you can just say, “I am not sure what happened, but I do know I don’t want our kids acting like that and I will be sure it does not ever happen again.”
Which brings me to advice #2. NEVER let your kids play out of sight. NEVER. They need to stay where they can be seen by you at all times. If they are in the yard, you should be able to look out at any time and SEE them. If in a room in the house- doors wide open. This time it was something as silly as going to the bathroom. Next time it could be sexual and those scars are hard to heal. VERY small children can be involved in things like that. They see so much in movies, tv, books, etc now. Don’t think you are shielding them- even billboards are plastered with the stuff.
So tell your neighbors that. “I have seen that my kids are still young enough to get involved in things that are not good for them, so from now on they will only be playing where they can be seen by an adult at all times. I hope they can still play with your kids sometimes. Please forgive us for not setting up that rule before.”
Hope it works out. Hugs, Barbara