Ask a mother of 14 continued

Question: With so many children, do you have any that are "problem" children? By that I mean, just have a hard time learning to listen and obey, or mouth off often, etc. If so, how do you handle them? My older two are great, but my 3rd (who is 5) is hard to handle and I'm out of ideas. He mouths off so much and disobeys so much that I wonder if there isn't something going on, like some kind of disorder or something. Do you have any kids that gave you more of a hard time?

Answer: My children have always been perfect. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Back to reality now. :)

I have all these kids. EACH one is different. They have different personalities and different birth orders.The ages keep changing! Every year! LOL! Some are more forceful in their personalities. I personally prefer the kid that is naughty right out in the open. It is the quiet sneaky ones that give you real trouble! LOL! Open naughty you can see and deal with quickly!

WARNING!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE remember I am speaking from MY experience ladies. So don't be offended if that I say misses the mark for your life. Ok? Ok!

I also think naughty children are naughty to get mom's attention. As we have more children we have to be sure we are not raising a crowd. We are still raising each child. Each one needs the same love and attention as if they were the first. They need to feel SPECIAL. Now, of course our amount of time is not going to double with each child. There are only so many hours in a day. So what is a mom to do?First accept your life. I mean that. The times I struggled, I have found I was wishing for something different than what I had. I learned to just be happy with the season I am in. I also learned to trust that even when I felt like "I'm not smart enough to do this!" That I was!

God would not give us these kids if we could not do a good job! He knows how many hours are in a day. he knows what work must get done. There is a way to do everything that NEEDS done. Your job is to find that way. The answer is inside you. God put it there. Search it out.

Ok, I am getting off track. So. IS something wrong with that child? No way! There is NO DISORDER. Accept that and half your problem is solved. Then accept this- that child has the personality God knew he would need AS AN ADULT. Later in his life, that special, active , stubborn child is going to have a life call that will need that! YOUR job is to train him to control it! So stay on top of things. Make housework easier. make meals easier, so you have TIME to help that child learn to control himself. Make rules and stick to them. But, also find ways to allow that personality to grow. Your job is not to change it, but to mold it. Kids with that bent need to be held accountable. Spanking is often not terribly effective. (and I do believe in spanking- even THOSE kids LOL!) But WORK usually has a better effect. Work WITH mom is even better. So if my trouble kid was having a hard time- it was time to clean out that awful tool closet- together. Or mow the yard, rake leaves, plant flowers... Something unpleasant, and physical, but also a time to talk. These kids actually thrive when kept busy with mom- talking. Their minds are just stuffed full of things they are not old enough to do. Talking helps clear the brain cells. :) So buddy up with that child a lot. Have them be the kid you "can count on" to work on special things with you. All that energy is YOURS TO USE. This is the kid that needs a garden, or a fish tank to clean, or a deck to help build, or a Wii fit to work out energy! Get close with them, because someday they might just rule the world! You want to be on their side! LOL! Hugs, Barbara