Ask a mother of 14 continued

Question: Hi Barbara. I love reading your posts. You have so much wisdom. I only have four kids, , but people act like I have 14...sometimes it feels like I have 14! hahaha You have been such a blessing and I really appreciate getting the chance to peek into your family life. You've already answered most of my questions, but I do have a question.What do you do with the lazy child? My ds6 wishes he were an only child (and tells me that regularly). I can't spend enough time with him...he always wants more. He is perfectly happy to let his older brother do ALL the work. We've tried rotating chores to keep it interesting, but even when he volunteers for something, the only thing he wants to do is watch tv or be outside. It is a daily struggle to get him to do anything. He would rather stand there and cry for 20 minutes about how he hates doing something that would take him less than 5 minutes. I expect it a little in his schoolwork, b/c this is only our second year doing school with him, but it is like this with everything. He is our most rebellious, too. He never wants to do what everyone else is doing...unless it is everyone outside of our family. He causes the most strife in our home, and it can really sour my mood quickly.Thanks again for taking the time to share your wisdom.

Answer: I'm not sure I have time to do this question justice! The truth is that in my experience no 6 year old boy wants to "do his share" of the work. :) 6 is still really young. A 6 year old wants and NEEDS to play a lot.

I talk a lot about training small children to work, but I mean WITH mom. I have never put a 6 year old alone on a job on our chore chart. I double them up. Now I have the gift of older children- but I EARNED that by having a houseful of small ones once! HAHA! People often forget that. My big kids were small once!

Ladies, At 6 everything needs to be a game. They are too young to act like an adult. "Go clean your room" is an order that is going to get everyone crying. Him because that is like being told to go to the coal mines, and you because it won't get done.

Instead get that room organized first. Make it easy to clean. Get rid of 682 small toys that get dumped while looking for the one truck he loves. Get rid of the shirts you thought were cute- and he refuses to wear and throws on the floor while looking for the green shirt he wears every other day! LOL!

Then break things down and make it fun mama. Let the kids be kids AND be helpers. Grab a small laundry basket, the 2 year old, and the 6 year old. Go in the room. Now, smile mom. This is FUN! " Let's see who can pick up the most clothes the fastest!" or "Ok, John you get the green clothes! Sara get the red clothes! I'll get the yellow ones! GO!"Scramble and laugh! Bump into each other! Fall in a heap laughing!

Now let them drag it to the laundry room. Ok John put the clothes in the washer! I'll pour the soap! Sara push the button! WOW! you two are mommies big helpers! I can't wait to tell daddy you did the laundry today! let's go make lemon-aid!!!

A mom's job is to train the children to work, but that is the small part. Your more important job is to train them to be happy. All of life is work. We can smile and play the work away, or we can drag through it. Those who drag will never lead anyone to Jesus. If your a Christian and look like you are sucking lemons- who wants what you have? So we need to make having happy kids top of our list!

Go watch Mary Poppins! In every job is fun- if you will find it. How do the kids see YOU doing your job? Do you walk into the room and go "AHHHHHH, this place is a mess. I don't know why you are such a slob. You are lazy and messy. Clean this place up!" Or do you say,"Wow, we must of had fun in here! look at this place! Let's see who can pick up a basket full first! When we are done we can play scrabble!"Hugs, Barbara

Question/ comment:This thread is amazing and such a blessing! Thank you Barbara! I have to come back again and read the rest I missed before asking a question. I love asking mothers like you questions, to learn from your wisdom and see how it applies to our family.Blessings to you