Ask a mother of 14 continued

Question: How do you handle silliness at the dinner table and in the car. I want my kids to have fun but when they start saying thinks like poopie, underwear... etc. What do I do? I have scolded and given time outs. He is almost 4 years old. I have heard of people putting hot sauce on their tongue for offences of the mouth.What are your thoughts and ways? It seems inevitable that kids get silly with their words. Where do you draw the line?

Answer: I have never liked the thought of using hot sauce. I personally can't stand hot sauce- makes my mouth burn for hours. I don't want my punishments to hurt for hours.

I mostly don't expose my kids to people who says things like that- so they never learned it. That's my first line of defense.

A small child will hear things though- they are not in a bubble after all- So I will tell them that those are not words mommy likes. That gets rid of a lot. They want to please mommy and those words hurt mommies feelings.

A four year old can usually be stopped by telling them to stop. Then get them talking about something they like! If not, I personally would spank them. Spanking is not punishment in my house- it is a training tool. This behavior causes this sting on the backside. Everything else stops. Mom is not happy. It is not a joke. Again it is MOM'S attitude that is important. I spank with a plastic spoon- it has the koolaid smile on it. LOL! I spank through clothing. It is NOT the pain ( never leaves a mark). It is the situation. Mom is serious. You are bent over the couch and POP. One good swat makes the joke gone. You are now listening. You are turned around to face mom who is kneeling down to your height. "Now, honey, in our house we don't say that.I expect you to stop. Understand? Ok, give me a hug. I love you and want you to growup to be a person people like to be around- because you are so special!"

Mom's need to NEVER look or act harrassed. Nothing a kid does is to be taken PERSONALLY. instead remove the personal insult and think of it as your job to train them into PEOPLE that other people can stand! HAHA!If you THINK they can not be stopped- they can't. But if you KNOW children can be trained, then your job is easy. A DOG can be trained to do anything. Come on mom- dogs are dumb. I love dogs- have three myself- but they are not smart like a child! A child can LEARN how to act. They only need boundries. Set those and keep them. Hugs, Barbara

PS-Where to draw the line. Draw it where YOU are happy. You never should cringe in your own house/car. ;)


Question/ comment: I just want to say, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" I know you are just speaking about what you have learned and that the Lord wants to share the same things with all moms. Yet, I want to tell you that you sharing from you life, what you've learned has so encouraged me tonight. I have been able to look at my own relationship with my children and seen where I am doing things wrong. Also, I can see where God has been pointing me to do things better than I am doing and you have been used by Him this evening. Thank you so much for your encouragement. I will be looking into getting your book. Thank you for giving me this gift.

Answer: Thank you! It is so nice to hear that my words helped someone! When you put things out there on a computer- you never know how they are coming across!I hope you get and enjoy the book. I often get letters and emails from people who are just stunned by my story. They figure anyone with this many kids must live a fairy tale life. It is refreshing just to hear another mom say- yep, I have been where you are and really understand. And I really do because I am a REAL person, not a character in a made up book. :) Hugs, Barbara


I just wanted to thank each of you ladies for the questions and comments! This was great fun for me. I hope I did not miss any of the questions- I tried to answer each one! If I did miss one please remind me!! And of course you can still ask questions here!May you each be blessed as you go about your day today! Give yourself a great big hug from me! And hug those kids! They will grow-up faster than you can imagine. Trust me, I know. Hugs, Barbara